I wasn't allowed a smartphone until I was 16. I can't thank my parents enough. (2024)

I was allowed to get an Instagram account when I turned 18, but I delayed it several months because I knew I would spend too much time on it. Spoiler alert: I did.

Christine SchuecklerUSA TODAY

When I tell my peers that I didn’t get my first smartphone until I was 16, their jaws drop. My parents had a hard-and-fast rule for me and my siblings that we could get a phone only when it became necessary – which in my case was when I got my driver’s license.

I resented this rule. It was embarrassing to admit to new friends that I didn’t have a phone number, a Snapchat account or even Instagram. When I got my first job, I couldn’t text my boss when I had questions or even tune in to the employee group chat. I never heard the trending songs or understood the latest internet jokes.

So when I bought my first iPhone 7 Plus, I was elated to finally “get it.” I told my parents I was very excited to use Apple Maps to stay safe on the road.

Still, I didn't engage with technology like my peers did. I didn’t get a laptop until I was a senior in high school, nor did I have social media or even YouTube on my phone until I had graduated. I was allowed to get an Instagram account when I turned 18, but I delayed it several months because I knew I would spend too much time on it. Spoiler alert: I did.

I wasted hours on Instagram. Now I don't miss it.

Plus, I knew I had to get an Instagram account when I began college. No one asks for your phone number anymore – Gen Z prefers to communicate via Snapchat selfies or Instagram Reels. The first few months of college brought in hundreds of new Instagram friends, most of whom I never spoke to again after that first exchange of social media handles.

I wasted hours on Instagram. Although it thankfully didn’t have any significant effect on my self-esteem or body image, it certainly damaged my productivity. A five-minute study break would turn into a half hour of scrolling. The Reels algorithm knew me too well.

Universities need diverse viewpoints: Young conservatives like me are told not to attend college. That's shortsighted.

I decided to give up Instagram for Lent. When I told a friend of mine, she was shocked: “You mean you’re just not going to look at it for a month? I could never do that.”

I did take a month off, and it was great. Then I returned to my normal Instagram use, even with the nagging knowledge that it wasn’t good for me. I kept telling myself that I would delete it eventually: when I graduated college, when I got married, when I had a family. I told a friend that I would delete it when it was “time to grow up.”

Last Christmas, I realized that it made no sense to keep hanging on to something I planned to cut off, so I deleted my entire account in a spur-of-the-moment impulse. It was a great choice. I don’t miss it.

Surgeon general calls for warning labels on social media

I’m luckier than many of my fellow members of Generation Z, spanning from 1997 to 2012, because I wasn’t raised on the internet. In fact, I wasn’t allowed to access the internet recreationally on the family computer until I was 13. I hated it at the time; now, I’m beyond grateful.

My generation is the first to grow up alongside the digital world, which has stunted us in undeniable ways. There is no shortage of evidence of social media’s negative effects on mental health, even leading Surgeon General Vivek Murthy to call for warning labels on such platforms.

'An unfair fight': Surgeon general says parents need help with kids' social media use

Research has found links between excessive internet use and mental health disorders, most notably anxiety and depression, time and time again.

Furthermore, a 2023 study found that increased screen time before age 5 is associated with higher risk of developmental delays, including deficiencies in communication, problem-solving and fine motor skills.

Did I sometimes feel left out because I wasn’t “plugged in” to the internet as a child and adolescent? Of course. However, at 20, I seem to have a much healthier relationship with the internet than many of my peers. I didn’t have trouble deleting Instagram, and I’m perhaps unreasonably proud that I’ve never been on TikTok.

My parents graciously encouraged me to spend my free time pursuing hobbies, helping me discover my love of theater, singing, playing the piano and reading, all of which keep me from staring at my phone too much.

By contrast, even though hobbies have been linked to improved mood, greater life satisfaction and less stress, 74% of Gen Z prefers to spend their free time online, according to UNiDAYS. This only contributes to the mental health crisis of the young.

In 2024, it’s impossible to not be online. My school requires an app to do laundry, for goodness’ sake. I’m certainly not perfect, especially since YouTube decided to recommend dozens of shark videos to me.

Still, I credit my parents’ rules and guidelines for proper internet use with my positive relationship with the internet today.

One day, I will place the same restrictions on my kids if possible so they can develop more meaningful in-person connections, good quality sleep and healthy attention spans. Children deserve to grow up in the real world.

Christine Schueckleris a USA TODAY Opinion intern and a rising third year student at the University of Virginia, where she studies English and French. At UVA, she writes forThe Jefferson Independentand performs with theUVA University Singers.

I wasn't allowed a smartphone until I was 16. I can't thank my parents enough. (2024)

FAQs

Can I take my 16 year old phone away? ›

Taking away a teen's phone interferes with their social life, which can drive a wedge between parent and teen. It's helpful to make the punishment related to the misbehavior, so taking away your teen's phone for a misbehavior like breaking curfew doesn't usually make sense.

How to convince your parents to let you get a phone? ›

Think of reasons you should have a phone.

Promise to be responsible with the phone. Let your parents know that you'll be upfront with them about what you're doing on the phone and will use it responsibly. Promise to limit your time on the phone. You can agree to only use the phone for a set number of hours each day.

Should a 14 year old have a phone? ›

"We do know that in some studies, especially in the early adolescent period, 12 to 15 years of age, more than three hours a day was associated with negative mental health outcomes," she said. Many experts suggest waiting to give your kids a smart phone until they are at least 13 years old or in 8th grade.

How old should you be to get a phone? ›

What is the ideal age for a first phone? Your children could be ready for a smartphone or similar device anywhere from 10 to 14, or during middle school. A sixth-grader (typically 10 to 11 years old) is a good age to start discussing a phone or a smartwatch.

Can my parents legally take my phone at 16? ›

Regarding personal belongings like your computer and phone, if these items were purchased by you or given to you as a gift, they are your property. Your parents do not have the right to take these away from you.

Can my mom take my phone if my dad pays for it? ›

If she feels that the phone is a distractiuon or is unhealthy for the child's well being, she can take the phone away. This depends on the child's age and the circumstances. However, the custodial parent may not limit communication with the non custodial parent if it is mandated in the custody order.

Why are my parents not giving me a phone? ›

Your parents might think it could risk your safety or that it will be too costly. Perhaps you could try and see it from their point of view? Even if they don't change their mind, you'll have a better understanding of why they won't allow it.

How to get your mom to say yes? ›

Be honest about what you want to do. If your mom knows of your plans, she'll be more likely to work with you to find a solution you can both agree on. Explain the reasons why you want to do something or go somewhere. Showing your excitement and explaining what you'll gain from the experience might just win her over.

What to do if my parents take my phone? ›

Discuss the problem with your parents.

Calmly approach your parents so that you can talk about the problem. Your goal is to determine why your parents took your phone away. If you don't know why your phone was taken, you will not know the best way to get it returned. Give yourself time to cool off.

Should parents check their 15 year olds phone? ›

The phone plan is probably in your name and you probably bought the electronic devices. But even if not, you have every right and responsibility to check them if you've been given cause to do so because you have the right and obligation to keep your home safe, your child safe, and your other children safe.

Can a 9 year old have a girlfriend? ›

Typically, it's best for children under 13 not to engage in romantic relationships as they are still developing emotionally and cognitively. Healthy friendships are encouraged for teenagers between 13 and 15, but romantic relationships could be too much for them to handle.

Is it OK for a 16 year old to have a phone? ›

Experts suggest that you should wait to get your kid a smartphone until at least 8th grade. Along with age, a kid's social awareness, understanding of technology, and maturity should be considered.

Should I let my daughter date at 15? ›

Some pediatricians suggest that kids wait until they're 16 to start this kind of one-on-one dating. That's a good place to start the discussion, but every kid is different. Some are more emotionally mature than others. Some teens come from communities and families where one-on-one dating starts earlier or later.

Should parents read their children's text messages? ›

It takes a parent with ironclad boundaries not to sneak a peek at what's happening on their kid's phone. But a full-on investigation without your kid's knowledge and consent probably won't end well. Spot checks, conversations, and transparency should be sufficient to keep tabs on your kid while preserving your bond.

What is a kid age? ›

The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child defines child as, "A human being below the age of 18 years unless under the law applicable to the child, majority is attained earlier." This is ratified by 192 of 194 member countries.

Can my parents take my stuff when I'm 16? ›

No, they cannot legally take your possessions.

Can you take out a phone contract at 16? ›

You must be at least 18 years old

If you're not 18 yet, don't despair. You can either ask an adult to take out a pay monthly contract for you (the credit check and bills will need to be in their name), or check out our great range of pay as you go phone or broadband deals.

Should parents look through their 16 year old's phone? ›

Secretly checking their phone is not OK, according to Dr. Moreno, who recommends “looking at the device together, as it's an opportunity to build trust and communication.” She adds, “Snooping bypasses both trust and communication and often does more harm to the parent-child relationship than good.

Can parents take away something you paid for at 15? ›

It is technically yours, however, if you bought something that you are not old enough to have, or that has a parental warning on it, and your mother doesn't want you to listen, or watch it then she can keep it.

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